Playing the Hand You're Dealt

Since we arrived in Belize in early December, it's been pretty easy for me to leave my old "work life" behind. It's only been recently that I've thought of the youth that I used to work with, week in and week out. Those youth were mostly middle and high schoolers, mostly low-income, mostly people of color. Each of them struggled to attend school regularly. The reasons for their truancy were as different as each child's situation and personality. It was my job to attempt to reengage them in their education by means of mental health support, tutoring, community outreach, school staff, the legal system; basically any means necessary.

I loved my job and I was good at it. I met with kids and parents in their homes, coffee shops, schools, libraries, jails, courtrooms, homeless shelters, you name it. I learned the unique challenges each family was facing and did my best to connect them to the resources that might make a difference for them. My truancy work was an attempt to redirect this vulnerable population off a path toward criminal involvement. As in all social work, the wins were small and rare; the stories were unbelievably frustrating and sad. The work was exhausting and rewarding. It was hard to rationalize leaving that work to come to Belize when new systems of support were just getting put into place in my district.

So last week, during the down-time that Covid 19 has afforded me, I began to think of the families that I invested the most in. I thought of the homeless families, the kids struggling with depression and anxiety. I remembered with sad fondness the girl who was human trafficked, the drug abusers, teen parents and gang members. A few days later, one of those students was gunned-down the day before he turned 20. This young man (D.H.), who I've known for 4 years, had special needs. He was a first generation American from a low-income family. He struggled to fit-in at school, struggled academically and was painfully shy. His life goal was to become a welder, but couldn't pass the exams to get into a vocational course. This, and a slew of other factors, drew him away from school, searching for his path in life.

As news of his passing hit me, so did worries for his younger brother, who will undoubtedly look for ways to even the score. What chance did these boys have, when their mother left them at an early age? When their special needs made it harder to keep up with their peers? When English was their second language and their father couldn't help with the homework? When their dad worked long hours to try to provide the American dream for his boys? When financial pressure and the need to fit in drew them toward unsavory alliances? With those odds stacked against them, they barely had a chance. Now, out of the two of them, only one is left.

One thing I know to be true is that I was blessed to be born into a privileged situation. In terms of birth, I won the lottery. I was born to an educated white Christian couple in the United States. I didn't do anything to earn my upbringing and it wasn't any superior character or work ethic that landed me where I am. I was sheltered and protected from so much while growing up. That was the hand I was dealt and I'm so thankful and humbled.

Luke 12:48b says, "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked."

It's not enough for me to appreciate my lot in life. How will I play the cards I've been dealt? How will I invest the talents I've been given, into those who have been given much less? In the past it's been my work with foster children and teens. I don't know where I'll play my hand here in Belize, but I am as committed as ever to be the difference in the lives of young people, like D.H.. And, with actual lives on the line, I have to be all-in.

Refusing to be Codependent or a Crutch

Part of moving here as "missionaries" is battling misconceptions of Belize and what we intend on doing here. We have tried with each conversation with friends and interested parties to dispel images of a dark, backward culture desperately needing a white Savior. We have resisted the easy marketing ploy of posting less-than-honest images of us serving. We continually check our social media posts and mindsets, to make sure we are not casting ourselves in a savior role or portraying Belizeans in a way that is not honoring of their individuality, humor, intellect and the strengths their culture instills in them.

Sadly, for many reasons, this is not a common approach of missionaries and aide-workers in Belize. We have met several (not all) "missionaries" who look at Belizeans with disdain; who see them as little more than background to their Instagram posts, and lack any reciprocal friendships with those they are here to serve. For this reason, we have specifically asked Belizean friends and pastors to keep us accountable to not falling into that mindset since day 1.

A Belizean friend of ours posted this last night:

It beats me that there are still missionaries who come to Belize and talk about it as if it is some God-forsaken , impoverished, uncivilized country. Please! Belize is Belize and it will never be any other country, so kindly desist from judging based on your culture and standards--ethnocentricism in any form cannot be good. It only lends to snobbish, demeaning behaviour.

Do your research, educate yourself, be open to cultural diversity, and most importantly make sure you are called.

Just saying...

Joshua 1:15 says, "Stay with them until the Lord gives them rest, as he has given you rest, and until they, too, possess the land the Lord your God is giving them. Only then may you return and settle here...”

This has been the key verse for my work here since 2003. For me, this verse highlights the idea that we are all kinsmen. Some of us have been blessed to have been born in countries with more opportunity and more wealth. Some have been born into struggle. As kinsmen, we are not to sit down and luxuriate in our own promised lands while our brothers and sisters have yet to take possession of what is theirs.

I believe that each soul has a longing for the Promised Land which offers safety, peace, provision, salvation, an end of hopeless wandering. But I also believe that concept can be extended to entire nations. There is a promised land where Belizeans "possess the land the Lord their God is giving them." We feel it is our job to support Belizeans in actualizing the promises they've stored in their hearts.

Yesterday I was reading again in Joshua and noticed something else. For 40 years, the Israelites wandered in the desert completely dependent on God providing sustenance so they could live another day. This came in the form of quail and "manna." Interestingly, just as they were about to cross into the Promised Land, the manna stopped.

Joshua 5: 12 says, "...there was no longer any manna for the Israelites, but that year they ate the produce of Canaan (Promised Land)."

Reflecting on this time of crazy transition in Covid-19 Belize, I see parallels between this season and when the Israelites were moving into their inheritance. For 40 years the Israelites needed miraculous intervention in order to eat. They couldn't do it on their own. In the 38 years that Belize has been a sovereign nation, it's growth has relied heavily on foreign aide and missionaries. As the Israelites took possession, God removed their main resource, so it wouldn't become a crutch. In this season, tourism has been shut down, trade has slowed considerably and many many aide workers and missionaries have repatriated to their home lands. Could this be an opportunity for Belizeans to move forward and take hold of the promises they have held onto for years? Is it possible that scores of missionaries have been removed so that they wouldn't become (or continue to be) a crutch?

It is my heartfelt hope that the missionaries remaining would search our hearts and evaluate if we have cultivated an unhealthy power dynamic with those we serve. That we would repent for looking at Belizeans as little more than objects of pity and charity, rather than kinsmen who are posed on the threshold of reclaiming their land. May God show each of us how we can be used to further the dreams of our Belizean brothers and sisters, rather than building our own kingdoms on their land.

Franken-bride?

The thing that has been rolling around in my mind this morning is all the contention I see in the world right now, especially in the church. Differences of opinion, doctrine, forms of worship are as old as time. Those differences aren't bad, in fact there's beauty in our collective expression of devotion. What IS out of line is strife, disdain, impatience and greed. When the heat turns up, these impurities rise to the surface.

Ephesians 4:2-4 says, 2 Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.3 Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.4 For there is one body and one Spirit...

Bringing people together from disparate backgrounds, experiences and points of view is a daunting task, let alone having those people function together as "one body." When I envision this body of mismatched parts, I think of Frankenstein's monster. What a mess!

God's plan is take our collective mess and make it something beautiful. I can't think of anything more beautiful in light of this current crisis than for God's people to be humble and gentle, to serve and stay united instead of pointing fingers and tearing eachother down. He gives us His Spirit to do that work in us, because in our own strength, we would fail.

Further down in Ephesians 4: 11-13 it says, "11 Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers.12 Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ.13 This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ.

So, in addition to God's Spirit working in us to bring unity, He has also provided people to help us grow in maturity: apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, teachers. Once again, the finished work of spiritual maturity cannot be completed within ourselves, in a vacuum. We need the ministry of others to teach, encourage, and protect us. Are we leaning into that model? Are we embracing the path to maturity and unity? Or are we digging trenches and participating in friendly-fire?

Christ is looking for a pure and spotless bride, not a Frankenstein. If we submit to his Spirit, and to those in ministry, He will heal the places of brokenness and make us whole. Maybe His vision for us is more mosaic or patchwork quilt than Franken-bride.