Strength in Weakness

Many of us in ministry or social work/development work struggle with what's called a Savior complex. We see the hurt in the world and can sometimes believe it's up to us to save it. Mahatma Gandhi famously said, "BE the change you want to see in the world." I agree with that wholeheartedly. It becomes a problem when we think that we have the answers without fully understanding the context of the culture or person we are trying to help. Even worse is to lose sight of the problems and weaknesses we have in ourselves, while focusing on "fixing" those around us.

Matthew 7:3-5 says, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye."

I love this passage because it calls out the sin of hypocrisy in me. It causes me to step back and look at myself; to take inventory of the things that blind me to my own shortcomings. If I am going to "be the change" I need to have an honest understanding of both my strengths and weaknesses.

Coming to Belize, there's equal parts opportunity to put on my Savior cape and parade through the streets and equal parts opportunity to curl up in a ball overwhelmed. There's beauty in that balance. I don't ever want to fly in to save the day, only to discover I'm wearing the Emperor's New Clothes. I need advisors and friends who will show me the truth, even if it knocks me down a peg.

Eddie and I have been so blessed in recent weeks to see a small circle of Belizean friends forming around us. They are neighbors, church members and fellow ministers who we've shown our weakness to and who have leaned in to become a source of strength. There are plenty of things we need help with, between navigating schools, real estate, culture and politics. By being vulnerable and asking for help, we are gaining so much from their wisdom and generosity.

Even more importantly, we are establishing relationships where we're not pretending to be invincible. We are saying from the get-go that we need others' strength to lift us when we're down and we need others to point out our blind spots too. Maybe when we take turns being strong for others and accepting their support, we will have the longevity and authenticity to be the change we want to see.

Starting out small

Things here are getting started. Our kids are adjusting really well to school here and, with them out of the house, it frees up our time to start getting more involved.

Eddie still meets weekly with the mayor's office and is excited to learn so much about the inner workings of the capitol. We don't know what opportunities will come out of those connections, but we feel this is a season to watch and learn so we can better strategize later how we can be of value.

As for me, I've been asked to start an English class at a local Spanish church. I've been friends with the pastors for many years. We originally knew each other in the village, but they moved to the capitol just over 2 years ago to pastor a church. A major need for their congregation is to learn English, which is the official language of Belize. So, starting tonight I will teach a weekly ELL class there. I'm happy to be able to help a friend in this way and I always love to spend time with Latino brothers and sisters. For now the commitment is until the summer break, then I'll reevaluate if I will continue.

Another opportunity came up for Eddie and I both. Our local church (EBC) asked if we would spend March through June discipling some of the youth. The church puts on a yearly Vacation Bible School during the summer and the youth are the camp counselors. If you know Eddie at all, you're probably aware that he has trained camp counselors for over 15 years. The church wasn't fully aware of that when they approached us. Imagine their excitement! After meeting with the pastors and VBS team, we readily accepted the role.

Related to that new project, we will also be starting to work with the young adults of our local church. Eddie and I vividly remember the adults who poured into our lives during our college years and consider it a privilege to give back in that way. We are still figuring out what that will look like, but we are excited to get started.

With several irons now in the fire, I'm reflecting on what we felt called down here to do. Seat at the Table was founded on two core tenets: relationship and discipleship. While we didn't anticipate our initial work to look like this, it does fit with what we believe are our strengths and passions. I believe this is just the beginning and it's okay that it's small as we begin.

Ezekiel 17:8 says, "It had been planted in good soil by abundant water so that it would produce branches, bear fruit and become a splendid vine."

The young people at our church are good soil and we believe good fruit will come out of our investment in them. Whatever other projects or opportunities come our way, we'll be sure to line them up against what we feel called to do, so as not to get carried off-track.

Getting Schooled

Surprise! We put our kids in public school!

If you've been following this blog, you're probably wondering, "When did they decide not to homeschool? What happened?" Nothing dramatic happened with homeschooling, except that our 12 year old extrovert was miserable spending his days without a social group to interact with. We didn't want to "give up" on homeschooling; we wanted to stick to our guns. We wanted to protect the kids from more upheaval, but the alternative ended up being worse.

So, we set about getting our paperwork together, meeting with the principal, taking assessments and buying a boat-load of school supplies and uniforms. That was last week. Eddie and I were busy, worried, stressed and spending more money that we had anticipated. Brooklyn was anxious and AJ was relieved to finally be going back in school.

There's tons here that we are still learning. While the kids will now get the majority of their lessons in class, Eddie and I are also being schooled. Those lessons come from sitting in rooms where we are the minority, from conversations with locals about culture, politics, religion and where to buy certain items. Lessons simply from shutting up and observing those around us and taking it all in.

It's common practice for "expats" (aka immigrants from more developed countries) to band-together when they move to majority-world countries. Their introduction to the country is often via someone with a similar worldview. They are told where (and where not) to shop, eat, go after dark. They are warned not to trust the locals, not to let their guards down, which neighborhoods are safe and which churches are most appetizing to their more discerning palate.

I'll be honest, having moved to a new country with only a few suitcases and the daunting task of building a life here, the "expat" community is a tempting siren calling my name. The thing that holds me back from running to that community for comfort is the knowledge that "expats" are just immigrants by another, more privileged name.

Why would I move thousands of miles away to immerse myself in another culture and then immediately nestle into a foreign immigrant community there? I'm not here to set up my own comfortable little bubble. I am here to live alongside those who are proudly Belizean. I am here to sweat (and boy, do I!). I'm here to be vulnerable. I'm here to learn.

I am not trying to throw shade at any of my fellow immigrants for the choices they make in shaping their lives here to be more familiar. I get it.

Proverbs 2 talks about the Moral Benefits of Wisdom, some of which include safety, discernment and success. I don't have to lean on the wisdom of fellow Americans/Canadians?Brits etc to build a safe and successful life here. God promises to guide and protect those who seek His wisdom.

I am grateful to those friends (Belizean and otherwise) who are teaching us the ropes and answering our many questions. Before we can hope to have an impact here, we must first be willing to sit in the student's position and learn.