Confidence in my Confidant
What gives us confidence? Is it our personalities? Our upbringing? Our accomplishments? And what erodes confidence? I'm thinking about these things today. My confidence is worn thin and I'm taking a look inside.
This past week has been a tough one. Car trouble and related expenses, medical issues, and the return of the heat, have piled on stress. With schools still closed, continued distance learning obstacles have also taken a toll on our family. As confident as I was to have followed the call here, I'm not confident about where I am now or about what's ahead.
...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Having done a quick word search for "confident" in the Bible, I noticed it only appears once, in the verse above. Confidence here is not dependent on Paul's abilities, or the Philippian church's piety or righteousness. It is confidence in God; that He is good, He is able and He won't abandon the work He's started.
When my confidence falters, I have someone who I can confide in, who I can turn to. By turning in His direction, I take my focus off myself and off my doubts. God is a confidant I can trust to never shame or expose my vulnerabilities to others, to never leave me or forsake me. My worth and my future are fixed in Him, not my own capabilities, achievements or effort.
Being here is hard. Living in limbo is hard. None of it is what I had planned, none of it is following my timeline. My confidence can't be stable if it's based on what I can do; it needs to be based on the Unwavering One. The One who sees it all, from beginning to end, and who will complete His work in His time.