This week brought a pretty substantial disappointment. Last week's blog mentioned that we were in the process of buying a house. The day we were set to sign the papers, the sellers backed out. Potentially getting a house really helped us feel OK about going back into lock-down. But it was not to be.
As I've processed my reaction to this turn of events, I thought about the word disappointment. The prefix "dis-" means expressing negation, or reversal of an action or state. "Appointment" has two definitions. The first is an arrangement to meet someone at a particular time and place. The second: an act of appointing; assigning a job or position to someone.
I appreciate the imagery implied by the first definition: The negation or reversal of meeting someone at a particular time and place. Like being stood up for a date. You expected someone to show up for you and he flaked. Like a rejected single, I ask, "Was it something I did?" "Did I miss the signs?" "Is it worth putting myself out there and trying again?"
To be clear, in this analogy, the person who didn't show up when, where and how I expected, was God. I had sent Him notice of the meeting, told Him how much it meant to me and expected Him to honor the appointment. To my view, He did not.
Deuteronomy 31:6 says, "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
That same verse is quoted in the New Testament in Hebrews 13:5: "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'"
Wow, both verses bring my situation into perspective. So, if God has promised to never leave me or forsake me, why was I disappointed when the house fell through? Did He miss an appointment or did I?
Maybe there's another appointment being made that I've overlooked. Maybe while I was discontented with our current circumstances, and trying to make things move along my own timeline, God was more concerned with a different type of appointment.
The second definition of appointment is an act of appointing; assigning a job or position to someone. I've been thinking, looking and praying for an assignment, a clear position here, and so far I've felt halted every step of the way. In this process He is refining and reforming me, preparing me for my future appointment.
Do I still want a house to settle into? Of course. But I choose to be strong and courageous. I believe that God is with us. I will once again learn to be content in the circumstances I find myself in. When the timing is right, He will make the appointment and I won't stand Him up.