The Rest Will Come
It's been a long slog these past 2 years. The move to Central America; the uncertainty, the promise, the hope and anticipation...getting plugged into a church community, getting the kids enrolled in public school, only for everything to shut down a few months later. And now, 17 months since the initial lockdown, things are still not settled, still not stable, still in flux.
Friends, I'm weary. I'm tired of being the strong shoulder for others to lean on. I'm tired of looking on the bright side, of grinning and bearing it. I don't want to buck up. I'm tired of bringing the same questions and burdens to the cross week after week, month after month. I'm tired of wearing masks and praying for people who are battling for their lives in the hospital. Are any of you experiencing a similar weariness?
Normally I would seamlessly segue into Matthew 11:28-30, noting that Jesus said to go to him with my weariness and heavy burdens, that he would give me rest. Not this time. I don't want the pat Sunday School answer that keeps me at the center. Part of the problem in all this is that in my fatigue, I am centering myself; the inconveniences I face, the disappointments I manage. I want, instead, to take me out of the picture- to set my sights higher than my own feet trudging along.
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
God is not worn-out by all of this! And, get this, He understands! Without me even making the effort to explain my situation, He sees it and understands. I need to get out of my head and just sit and meditate on this verse. As I sit in defeat and in mind-numbing emotional exhaustion, I am forgetting who God is. Don't I know this? Haven't I heard? He is the everlasting God and He doesn't grow weary.
Further down in the same passage, it talks about God lending that strength to us. He knows we grow weary, He knows we stumble, but He doesn't leave us in that state. Instead, God gives us the strength we need not only to endure, but to soar.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
My goal today is to remain back in verse 28. Remain in the steadfastness of my Creator, not the shifting nature of creation. To focus on His strength, not my weakness, His understanding, not my own cluelessness. If I stay here awhile, if I wait upon the Lord, the rest will come.