Seeking Approval

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In this digital age, our lives are on display for others' approval (or disapproval) 24/7. It's tempting to try to curate our offerings to only show the good; sunny days, smiling faces, success. Even if I try not to be so one-sided; it's actually kind of hard to come up with something to say or share on days when nothing is new, good or hopeful. So, instead of faking it, I'm more likely to remain quiet on days like that.

In these divided times, it can be difficult to share our uncertainties, for the fear that people will consider us "lost" or having a crisis of faith. Faith grows as it is tested and wrestled with. Pat answers don't indicate a depth of faith, but rather a lack of introspection.

On the other hand, we may actually feel strong and certain about something God is doing in our lives, or hopeful about our tomorrows. Sharing those assurances publicly subjects them to scrutiny by others, well-meaning or otherwise.

In the Bible it talks about a young man named Joseph, who believed himself to be blessed among his many brothers. Through dreams, God had revealed to him his future greatness, but rather than wisely keeping it to himself, he told the others and got himself in a bunch of trouble. In their jealousy, Joseph's brothers sought to bring him down a peg and sold him into slavery.

Maybe you, too, have a God-given sense of purpose or destiny. Maybe you've been given a picture of your tomorrows, or passion for something you have yet to see. It may be wise to keep your own counsel, rather than airing it out on public forums.

In his famous Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said,

“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces." Matthew 7:6

I admit this is a hard one for me. When I am excited about something God has shown me, I tend to want to process it with lots of people. Another piece of the puzzle is my need for validation. I want others to approve of what I'm thinking, doing, saying, even where I'm heading in my walk with God. I want to share the journey with others, but if they are not the right confidantes, it can leave me feeling trampled. I need to discern who to confide in and seek only God's approval.

Paul said, "Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God?

Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people,

I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:10

When I'm tempted to disclose private promises from the Father to those who might not value them, my hope is that I'll get better at being content in His contentment, and steady in His approval, not looking for other's to give it a "like."

Risking Ourselves

Big life-changing decisions are few and far-between. Much more common, and just as potent, are the little moments. In conversations, will we hold back what's really going on, or will we choose vulnerability? Will we mask our weakness and need, or will we open ourselves up to others? Will we spend our free time pursuing our own interests, or take a chunk of that time in service to others? ordered life; the thought of that order being upended can cause panic to set in. u

In times of comfort, it can seem ludicrous to do anything to upset the calm. Why ruin a good thing? As they say, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Eddie and I have felt challenged to do just that on several occasions. The first time was our decision to move-in with some friends as newlyweds. Family members thought we were nuts to risk it, but we felt that the potential rewards were worth the risk. We believed that inviting others into our inner lives would give both parties unique opportunity to grow. The natural tendency is to close oneself off, to isolate and not let others into your insecurities, your petty arguments or bad attitudes. By opening up, you risk being truly known, and rejected. The time we lived with our friends was rich and so rewarding. They continue to be close friends of ours, 15 years later.

Another time we chose risk over self-preservation was when we decided to foster teenagers. We had young children at the time and we willingly chose to bring damaged teenagers into our home to live with us. Some of our friends were incredulous and even angry that we would "risk our own kids" by taking in teens. Again, we were aware of all the reasons why we shouldn't do it, but the call to serve those kids was stronger than our desire to stay comfortable. Over eight years we had young people in our home, teaching us how to parent, teaching us to be patient and how to communicate. They were big brothers and sisters to our kids and, we hope we gave them a family where they felt seen and accepted. Yes it was work. Yes it was sometimes stressful and we lost some sleep. But it was worth the risk.

Our most recent choice to embrace risk was moving to Central America as missionaries. Back in Seattle we had friendships, my parents nearby, a home and careers we both enjoyed. Selling or giving everything away was a sacrifice. Leaving our comfortable lives was a risk. We had no guarantees that our financial support would continue to sustain us. We had no clue what we were walking into, or what life God had waiting for us here. And still we chose the risk because we know if God is going to use us for His purposes, we have to be willing to get uncomfortable and counteract our instinct to "look out for number 1."

Big life-changing decisions are few and far-between. Much more common, and just as potent, are the little moments. In conversations, will we hold back what's really going on, or will we choose vulnerability? Will we mask our weakness and need, or will we open ourselves up to others? Will we spend our free time pursing our own interests, or take a chunk of that time in service to others?

Christ is the ultimate example of a life lived for God. He chose weakness over strength, vulnerability over power, discomfort over ease. He calls us to follow His lead, allowing Him to empower us in our weakness.

2 Corinthians 12:9

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses,

so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

If you're feeling powerless, like you are white knuckling your hold on life, God may be calling you instead to let go. Let go of your need to control outcomes and protect yourself. Open yourself up to vulnerability and risk. His power is manifested as we risk ourselves.

Mother Nurture

The God of Christianity is often described as a Father. In fact, Jesus often referenced the Father as he spoke about who and Whose he was. There are many Biblical examples of His paternal role and nature. There are times in life, though, when a dad just won't do; when we need the comfort and assurances that only a mother can give. It's in those moments that I'm glad the Bible offers a few clues as to the maternal nature of God as well.

There are times, even as a grown woman, and mother myself, that I need my mom. Days when I wish I could crawl up into someone's lap and have a good cry. Times when, even as a mom, I need comforting. We may grow up and move away from our mothers, but I don't think we ever outgrow needing that nurturing touch.

This year, I've needed more comforting than I can remember needing for many years. Maybe it's because I've moved thousands of miles from my mom. Maybe it's the pandemic or the stresses of cross-cultural life. Today I'm reminded that I have a Comforter that made the journey with me.

Isaiah 66:13

"As a mother comforts her child,

so will I comfort you...”

God has a soft side. He sees and knows our heartaches, our disappointments. He not only knows, but He cares. He not only cares, but He wants to intervene and comfort us in those heavy moments of our lives. Will we allow Him to be our comforter? Will we crawl up into His lap and pour out our secret sadness? Will we lean our heads on His chest and listen to His heartbeat as He sings over our broken hearts?

Over and over again, the scriptures show that God's heart is for connection; His goal is intimacy with us. Maybe that's a new or strange concept to you, but will you give it a try? Take a few moments right now to imagine yourself as a child accepting a mother's comfort and see how that interaction with God ministers to your heart today.