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  • Renata Joseph

Running out of....me


Homeschooling has officially started here in Casa Joseph. For many years I was against homeschooling for several reasons, but in recent years I have seen several families do it successfully and I've admired them. Due to coming to Belize mid-year, Eddie and I decided to homeschool the kids for the remainder of the school year. This would afford us to be flexible in our travel and help the kids adjust to their new life here.


In my imagination, our kids would be doing a lot of self-guided learning and independent work. Maybe eventually we will get to that point, but right now, it's a lot of redirecting, cajoling, and trying (and failing) to get certain resources to work. Add our 12 year old's personal brand of derision to top it all off. Eddie and I have spent 24 hours/day with our children since Thanksgiving. Since then we've been their only friends, their entertainment, counselors and their cheerleaders. Now we've added teachers to the list. As a introvert, that's a lot of face time- like way too much.


In my self, I'm running out of patience, joy and kindness. In the words of Marlin from Finding Nemo, "Good feelings gone." So, what am I going to do about this? How am I going to continue to serve my kids? How will I replenish the internal reserves that have been depleted?


Galatians 5:22 says, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control."


I need to dig in and pursue the presence of the Spirit in my life. I've been "doing the things" to connect with God and haven't felt very successful lately. But if I am going to rise to the occasion, it is the Spirit of God that will need to rise within me. I don't know what it will take to get through this hurdle, but I know I can't do it in my own strength.


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